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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24609214">moving on</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonglows/pseuds/moonglows'>moonglows</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Heroes, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Body Worship, M/M, Mirror Sex, Self Confidence Issues</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:34:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,226</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24609214</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonglows/pseuds/moonglows</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The cold of the room was pleasant against the still shower-warm skin of his arms. It was welcomed, unlike the feeling that was slowly creeping up on his mind at the sight displayed in front of him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Iwaizumi Hajime/Sugawara Koushi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>moving on</h2></a>
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<p></p><div class="column"><p>Hair still wet from his shower and body still enveloped in his bathrobe, Suga plops down on their bed, staring at his reflection in the mirror they had bought just yesterday.</p><p>The cold of the room was pleasant against the still shower-warm skin of his arms. It was welcomed, unlike the feeling that was slowly creeping up on his mind at the sight displayed in front of him.</p><p>He couldn’t help but look at the way the piece of clothing stuck to his body, the way it made him look thinner than he already was, the pale scars contrasting starkly against the burgundy color of his dressing gown. He hated it.</p><p>He took in his face for as long as he could, gaze then wandering over the skeletal appearance of his knees— loathing.</p><p>He flinched when the front door opened, but was quickly reassured when he heard the familiar ‘I’m home’ coming from his boyfriend. He didn’t reply, too concentrated on the body that was his own, but didn’t feel like it was.</p><p>Sometimes he found himself mourning the body he used to care for, still the same, and yet, so different.</p><p>It’s the sound of feet padding down the hallway towards the bedroom that breaks him out of his trance, turning to see his grinning boyfriend peeking in the doorway. He noticed the smile turn into a frown, Iwaizumi quickly making his way to where Suga was sitting.</p><p>“You’re staring again.” He said, gently putting a hand on his cheek. Suga blanched at the movement, recalling painful memories.</p><p>His own stomach twisted in discomfort when he saw the expression plastered on his boyfriend’s face. Fear, guilt, sadness. He pulled away and crouched down, so that he was facing Suga.</p><p>“You okay?” Iwaizumi asked, and Suga’s only answer was a small hum as he started picking at the skin around his nails.</p><p>Suga watched as his boyfriend brought delicate fingers against the skin of his legs, tracing the scars he had come to hate so much.</p><p>He didn’t know why he tried to act so tough when he was anything but. He bit his lip as Iwaizumi looked up at him, gaze serious. “Talk to me, please.”</p><p>It’s when he said those words that the walls he had spent years building, one emotional brick at a time, collapsed into dust. It wasn’t the first time, wouldn’t be the last either, but he couldn’t help but feel culpability each time it happened.</p><p>Before he could even do anything, he felt the familiar chill crawling up his spine before tears burst out of his eyes, helpless. They burst like water from a dam, cascading down his face and gathering in small puddles on Iwaizumi’s hands. Hands that were on his knees, thumbs running soothingly over the fabric of the robe.</p><p>He looked at his reflection in the mirror, lakes filling his eyes and tears continuing to flow down his cheeks, streaks on his face, a continuous line - a river of sorrow.</p><p>“I think- I don’t feel good.” He managed to let out through sobs. He felt like he was drowning.</p><p>Seeing the concerned look his boyfriend was giving him along with his lack of response, he decided to continue. “I wish I could feel the same as before, I wish we could go back to how we were before, I wish-“ He looked at his legs, pale and bony, everything he hated. “I wish I looked pretty like before.” He admitted, defeated.</p></div></div></div></div><div class="page">
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<p></p><div class="column"><p>Iwaizumi’s hands were still on his knees, and Suga winced as they slowly slid down his legs, fingers tracing the scar. “You do look pretty.” He moved the robe aside so that it wouldn’t hide his legs anymore and kissed the milky-white skin slowly. “You always have, and you always will.”</p><p>He felt the muscle of his chin tremble at the delicate touch. It was hard to believe what Iwaizumi had just said, years of insecurity pushing against the words, but he knew Iwaizumi would never lie on such things.</p><p>“We can’t change the past, what’s done is done.” He ran his hands up the side of his thighs, Suga absentmindedly spreading his legs a little bit more with each caress, allowing him access. “I know it’s easier said than done, to just forget about it and focus on the present but I know you- we can do it. Together, as one.”</p><p>They didn't talk for a few moments after that. The room was silent except for Suga’s remaining sobs, coupled with the sound of strong hands on tender flesh.</p><p>It’s the rough palms on smooth skin that did it for him every time. It’s the way Iwaizumi touched him, oh so gentle and caring, that reassured him. He loved how Iwaizumi’s fingers danced on his skin, loved how his kisses sent tingling sensations up his spine, made him feel like he was worth something after two years of nothing but void.</p><p>Suga wanted to protest, he wanted to tell Iwaizumi that he was everything that Suga wasn’t, that he was scared he was gonna leave him for someone better, prettier, more powerful, and stable. He didn’t let his insecurities go past his lips.</p><p>“You’re so beautiful, Suga.” Iwaizumi said as he kissed one of the numerous moles on his knee. “I wish you could see yourself the way I do, the way I always have.” The kisses turned more playful, and the hands on his legs explored parts of his body he hadn’t touched in years now.</p><p>Iwaizumi stood up before him, tugging on Suga’s hands lightly so he could do the same. He stood up on wobbly legs, facing his reflection - a challenge. He didn’t know what Iwaizumi intentions were, but he felt comforted when he saw Iwaizumi pressing himself up against his back, arms wrapping around his waist.</p><p>“Do you trust me?” Iwaizumi asked. Suga only nodded, not wanting to ruin the mood with choked out words.</p><p>“I can’t make you see what I see, but maybe I can help you realise how gorgeous you actually are.” He said as he tugged the sleeve of the bathrobe off Suga’s shoulders, revealing moles and freckles scattered everywhere on his skin. He remembered Iwaizumi trying to count them all in high school, spending hours doing just that, kissing them, cherishing them after Suga had mentioned he hated the way they looked against his pale skin.</p><p>When Suga removed his arms from the robe, it didn’t fall to the floor, the fabric retained by the belt at his waist. Iwaizumi took his time, smoothing his hands down his sides, making sure not to leave a single inch of flesh untouched.</p><p>He would never admit it, but he liked the way his tiny body contrasted with Iwaizumi’s large frame. How perfect his hugs were, warm and comforting.</p><p>Suga’s eyes fluttered closed as Iwaizumi’s mouth navigated the pale complexion of his neck, sucking a small mark behind his ear. His hands were still on his body, exploring every inch of skin with curious</p></div></div></div></div><div class="page">
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<p></p><div class="column"><p>fingers. His breath hitched when he felt his index finger trace the little trail of hairs beneath his navel, untying the knot of the belt with one swift flick of his wrist, the robe pooling at his feet.</p><p>“Okay?” Iwaizumi asked, voice right next to Suga’s ear, his breath warm. Suga opened his eyes, looking at Iwaizumi’s reflection in the mirror. He was kissing his shoulders, mindful to keep an eye on Suga’s expression for any signs of discomfort.</p><p>“Yes.” He managed to let out, breathless. He could feel a jolt of pressure through his own body as Iwaizumi’s fingers dangerously approached his cock, twitching with interest.</p><p>They avoided his growing member, going towards his thighs, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. “Hajime,” He whispered. He hadn’t felt this needy in a long, long time. “I want you.”</p><p>At those words, the body behind him shifted, slid and crouched down. He saw Iwaizumi’s head peeking out from the side of his thigh, watching with attentive eyes as he kissed his ass, all the while holding eye contact with Suga.</p><p>He brought his hand to Iwaizumi’s hair, petting it gently before he heard a disapproving growl. “Don’t mind me, keep looking at yourself.” He kept kissing his thigh, caressing it gently with his thumb, not forgetting to give some love to the other one.</p><p>He could barely even stand watching himself right now, but he did it anyway, for Iwaizumi. He felt Iwaizumi’s hands on his hips, pressing kisses to the back of his thighs and on his lower back; something changed just then, and when Iwaizumi spread him with both his hands, he could only whine.</p><p>Everything was written on his face, lust, need, longing, thirst, love, as his boyfriend dragged his tongue as slowly as he could along the cleft of his ass.</p><p>He felt, and saw, his knees buck at the delicious sensation of Iwaizumi’s tongue breaching his hole, resulting in him placing both his hands on the wall, on each side of the mirror.</p><p>“You have no idea what you’re doing to me.” Iwaizumi said before grabbing Suga’s cock, stroking it gently, spreading precum all over his shaft.</p><p>Judging from the bulge in Iwaizumi’s pants, Suga had a small idea of what he was doing to him. He wouldn't admit it, but it felt good seeing he was wanted, felt good that his boyfriend was lusting after him, felt good feeling Iwaizumi’s smile against his rim, with every kiss he left.</p><p>Iwaizumi’s hand trailed up Suga's body from his cock to his nipple, pink and erect from the excessive stimuli. He watched as the blush his cheeks were adorning slowly spread to his chest, moaning in his arm when Iwaizumi’s fingers pinched his nipple.</p><p>“Let me hear you Suga.” He felt his heart thudding in his chest at those words, mewling when Iwaizumi’s finger breached his hole.” I missed this- missed your voice so much.” He breathed, thick and low.</p><p>He felt his own eyes sting. Saw his lips parting, wanting to say ‘I missed you too’ but instead, took a sharp and shaky inhale. He bit his lip as hard as he could, probably drawing blood so as not to cry. He was far too overwhelmed to say anything.</p><p>Iwaizumi didn’t miss the way Suga’s body trembled in his arms and before he could stand up, a hand found its way on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “No please- Please keep going. I’m okay, I swear.”</p><p>Iwaizumi ran warm fingertips all over his body, making sure not to forget a single inch of skin untouched.</p></div></div></div></div><div class="page">
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<p></p><div class="column"><p>He winced. He couldn’t see it, never had, but he could feel it, the scar on his lower back. Iwaizumi was tracing it with his tongue, kissing it as he kept fingering him, as he kept stroking his body gently.</p><p>It had been a while since he had been so wanted. He liked it, maybe a bit too much, he thought, as he felt that not-so-familiar-anymore burn at the pit of his stomach.</p><p>“Hajime I’m-“ His arms had started to tremble, tired from holding his own weight for so long. His face was so close to the mirror, fogging it with each shuddering breath he took.</p><p>Iwaizumi moved his hand and curled his fingers just at the right angle eliciting a moan each time the tip of his fingers brushed against his prostate. He balled up his fists, knuckles turning white.</p><p>Before he knew it, his knee gave out, Iwaizumi supporting him the best he could with his free hand, the one not stroking his dick, until he came all over the mirror, white and thick rivulets of cum sliding down the reflective glass, pulled by gravity.</p><p>Iwaizumi kept his right hand on Suga’s hip, still holding him up, pressing gentle kisses to the back of his legs. He could stay like this for hours, gently held by Iwaizumi’s strong arms, kisses being peppered all over his burning hot flesh.</p><p>Suga slid down to the floor, watching the reflection of his heaving chest, his boyfriend’s hands running free around his skin, holding him closer and closer. Both of their cheeks were flushed pink and he could feel Iwaizumi’s bulge against his lower back.</p><p>“Feeling better?” He asked as he pressed a kiss behind his ear, comforting. He could almost cry right there, in his boyfriend’s arms, but he didn’t.</p><p>“Yes, thank you.” Iwaizumi noticed the way Suga shivered and took the robe he was previously in, putting it around his shoulder. “Want me to take care of you?” He whispered and Iwaizumi just shook his head. He brought his arms underneath Suga’s knee, carrying him bridal style to their bed.</p><p>“Tonight’s all about you, Koushi.” Suga put his head in Iwaizumi’s lap, his hand soon joining his hair, fingers playing with the silvery tufts. “You render me speechless.”</p><p>Suga smiled, warm, noting the sincerity in his partner’s voice. “I love you.” He whispered, feeling his eyelids growing heavy with each passing second.</p><p>He heard a distant I love you too, coming from his boyfriend’s mouth and sighed contentedly, falling into a deep slumber.</p><p>It wasn’t what he had expected for his first birthday in two years, but he wouldn’t mind doing it again, and again, and again, if it meant being held by Iwaizumi each time.</p></div></div></div></div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>have always wanted to write about iwasuga juts. being in love you know.. and since their birthdays are so close to one another i thought! hey ! why not!! I really hope you liked it!!<br/>This is from an au that i posted on twitter which you can read <a href="https://twitter.com/sugawraa/status/1268819024844075009">here</a> !<br/>just made some change in the story in this one because i REALLY wanted to write about iwasuga and uhm!!! YES!! this is kind of an alternate universe INSIDE an alternate universe but i hope you still liked it!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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